Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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