I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
