Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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