I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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