we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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