Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
