He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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