I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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