sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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