wrigley field is MILF paradise
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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