Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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