You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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