Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Randomize
