I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
