Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
