So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
