Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
