Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
