Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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