Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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