I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
