I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
