the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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