I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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