strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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