Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
