never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
