At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
