I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
