Sry I called you an 8
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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