Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
