You can't special order awesome
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
