The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
