just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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