ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
