Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
