dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
