Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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