shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
porn star boner night. come get it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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