addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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