Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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