Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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