I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
