you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
