giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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