Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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