Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
