there's paper in my vomit.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Success! We fucked roommates!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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