I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
