Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
