My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
