Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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